It was late January 2015 right now. I've graduated for a year plus and been working for 1 1/4 years. Still remember from the very beginning, I was like keep grumbling/complaining this and that. I think just stopped it few months ago? Maybe still not consider as stopped but much more better? because there's still sometime.... It's quite annoying for sure!!!
Here to thanks and sorry for the ears borrowed.
Been having quite some thought, feeling within the whole year. It was just too childish of thinking at the beginning. The stupid thinking and shit feeling were mixed up become so bad/terrible. I still can remember how I wasted my days. Luckily I'm slightly awake now, although it make not much big different but at least I'm not that wasting my days and times now. At the same time, I think the childish thought were getting lesser and lesser. Isn't it?
These days my mind keep popping up something related to "future". The word "future" always make me stuck, lost, missing. There's no other ways than to face it as no one can escape their "future". Therefore, I'm starting to think a lot until my emotional being affected. This is what I hate the most as I still can't get to control it well. As in I can't control the action/thinking well once the emotional step in. What came into my mind will not be what I'm actually thinking of. That's why people always said don't make any decision/take any action when you're having negative thought or emo-ing.
The nearer it come, the greater the fear, tension I'm having now. I'm starting to think lots, afraid this and that whether it's right, feel apologize. Although all this came into my mind together, but I don't think it will affect/change anything. I've already think twice and confirmed. Now, will be waiting for the day. Hopefully everything will go smooth.
*pray pray*
complex emotion
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